Tag: Gifts

Reflecting at Christmas

This is by far the busiest times of the year and it’s not because of all the shopping. Actually, according to Shopify, November is the busiest commercial month of the year. I think it’s all the end of year rush, last-minute work targets and personal goals we want to achieve all between now and the 31st 23:59 which gets us all worked up. And on top of all that we want to enjoy the festivities and rest. We will soon discover that we cannot rest if we don’t eliminate the stressors in our way. At this time though I would say that one of the most important and beneficial things you can do for yourself is to spend time in reflection. When I’m reflecting or journaling it is in these moments when I’m most aware of what God has been teaching me through the day or the year. We need to intentionally create moments where we have epiphanies based on what is happening. Significant changes do not happen with the turn of a calendar it happens when we allow our minds to receive and engage with what is happening in our environments. We are praying for God to change our stories in the new year or decade, but we must ask ourselves what God has been engraving on the tables of our hearts over the last year or even decade that we haven’t paid attention to.

Beyond the feelings and the goosebumps, we might get when we encounter God, there are notable changes that take place in less spectacular ways inside of us. Being a lot more reflective, has help me understand that I ought to look for the mundane. Looking for God in the silence and seemingly insignificant is how Elijah got his life back as he stood on the mountain of God at the brink of depression.

I’m thinking about my life and things I want to focus on improving and things that I should keep and be more consistent with. Reflectively, I can say that I have grown over the last year. One of the key areas I have experienced growth and change in is how I think about giving and receiving love. It’s important to regularly reflect on how we relate with people and things.

Earlier in the year I had a conversation with someone that helped bring the thought process to mind and I can say that on reflecting on my understanding of extending love and hearing what the other person had to say, I found myself thinking that maybe I didn’t quite have a full understanding of what love – the God kind of Love – is. Maybe my limited understanding of how vast God’s love is keeping me from receiving all the wonderful gifts of God’s awesome love. I’ve begun thinking of love in a different way which has led to changes in how I practice love. Nothing drastic or dramatic, but significant enough for me to desire and chase after more of God’s kind of love in my heart. It is the kind of love that chases you and woos you regardless of how you are or what you’ve done. That love, loves you just because and nothing you could do could make it grow or diminish. Can I be that way towards myself and the people in my life? Can I be more loving regardless of what if?

At this point, I can say that any work that you catch me doing is related to reflecting and checking that the plans I make for the coming year are in line with the work that He has already begun in me. After all, what good is a perfect gift if I don’t take out the time to enjoy and use it?

Christmas blessings!

Four Hundred and Ninety Gifts for Father’s Day

Many people in many parts of the world are celebrating their fathers or a father figure in their life today. I love how we have set aside days to adhere to the scriptural principle set out in Ephesians 6 to honour our fathers and mothers on designated days. Aware of it or not, it is God’s desire that we do this and having a special date to commemorate this purpose allows us to check ourselves to see whether we have been living in accordance to what God has told us.

I know many people who have lovely things to say about their (biological) fathers. They recollect what their fathers did or said to them as they were growing up. They often speak of the investment their fathers have made. However, I know of many more who do not share in this experience. I belong to the latter group.

For many years Father’s day was an emotional event, reminding me that I didn’t have many great memories with my father. It made me feel like I was missing out and more than anything I realised that my father had fallen short of his role and in doing so, failed my siblings and I. I also became more aware of the immense burden my mother carried, because she chose to stay, and carries the responsibility of two people and plays the role of a father as well as that of a mother. This realisation hurt. The pain of loosing your father to the hands of premature death is indescribable, but very different from knowing that he chooses to be absent.

You have someone to blame, someone to hold to ransom. You can’t mourn because he isn’t dead and you most learn to honour his memory even though he hasn’t earned it and you are forced to accept his decision in spite of what you want and need.

How do we reconcile? How do we get to a place where we have peace, and I mean real peace, not the numb feeling that takes hold of parts of your soul? Thankfully, the answer is found in Matthew 18: 21- 22.

How often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?
No, Not Seven times, Jesus replied, but Seventy times seven!

For a long time I thought that when Jesus told us to forgive a person who offends us four hundred and ninety times, it meant that an offender could only count on my forgiveness for wrong doings on 490 occasions. Firstly, the temptation and implication of that interpretation is that we keep count of the wrong doings of others. It also means that we keep record of what people have done. There is no way of keeping accurate count without remembering what people have done. Walking through life so far and experiencing situations where I have had to forgive, I have come to understand that the forgiveness you extend for one specific action is not a one time gift. More than often you have to keep forgiving a person over and over again for that same offence. I find that long after the wounds have healed and the scars have faded you still need to forgive. It’s a battle waged on your mind to take out your heart. If I keep forgiving over and over again for every single thing that has been done to me, even after removing myself from situations that may be causing me harm I take significant steps towards wholeness and inner release.

Today, I can say that I don’t feel hurt or pain or numbness, I don’t cry in self pity about what could have been or should have been. No, not anymore. Instead, I focus on honouring my Father with the gift that never gets old. A gift that we can both share. I have a priceless gift even for the next 490 Father’s Day. How much more so, when I know that my heavenly father forgives me countless times more than that.

Tiny Gifts with Big Impacts

As Christians we know what the meaning of Christmas is. We might need to be reminded of what the reason behind our gift giving and celebration is, but we generally know what it means to celebrate Christ’s birth. Whether the 25th December was actually His birthday or not doesn’t matter in the broader scheme of things. What matters is that the promise of God to humanity was finally fulfilled with the birth of Jesus. All things in perspective, I think that the more complex problem we face on a yearly basis is what we should give as gifts for Christmas. I know that I am busy trying to come up with some nice gift ideas and it’s proving to be a little difficult. 

I’m working with a tight budget this year, but will like to give my friends and family gifts that have a personal touch and that will be useful. Giving gifts for me are always an opportunity for me to appreciate the people in  my life. I always want my gifts to communicate meaningful things to the recipients. In thinking about what I can give, I thought about the small things that we sometimes do that go a long way, which reminded me of how active early Christians were when it came to giving. Giving in the early church was a regular and well exercised practice, today we look for excuses not to give, especially to the local church. Paul celebrated the Macedonian Church for their willingness and gladness to give even though they were poor and needy (2 Corinthians 8:1-6). As I began to think about this I realized that not having is not a suitable excuse not to give. These people were poor but still gave and even begged to give. I also note the immense generosity in which they gave. They could not have given gold, silver and precious stone, but their given was still impactful, because they generously shared what they had. Generousity is not measured by how much you have to give, but by your willingness to give what you have. 

I’m also reminded of the little boy with 5 loaves of bread and two fish. He gave little and it became enough to feed five thousand men, alongside an additional number of children and women plus enough to spare. It doesn’t say, but if the little boy were to be compensated for what he gave, he would have gone home with at least 2 basket full of the 12 basket they collected. What are 5 pieces of bread and 2 fish compared to 12 baskets of food. Sometimes we get so hung up on how little we have that we miss out on the great impact what we have will have on others. What we think is too small, can go a long way in blessing others. 

Just sharing time with a person can do so much. This is one of the reasons the Bible admonishes that we do not forsake assembling and fellowship with one another as believers. Spending time with people goes a long way in communicating love and value to them. 

Thinking about all of this and reading 2 Corinthians 8 again has encouraged me to be more intentional about my giving, not just over this Christmas, but how I give in general.