Category: 2021

4 Ways to Tell if you are on the Wrong Path

At times it can be difficult to discern the difference between two paths that both seem right, and even more difficult to identify which one God is leading us to pursue. We can distinguish between the many paths that lay before us if we firstly believe that there is a right way and a wrong way in life. Yes, God does work everything out together for the good of those who love him, but this promise is based on the premise that you firstly whole heartedly love the Lord and that you are walking according to his purpose. God has a destination for each of us and he requires us to walk in accordance to his purpose. We are only human and we will sometimes take the wrong turn or experience accidents that may not even be our fault on the path of destiny. God promises that he will get us to our destiny regardless of these incidents. However, if we deliberately take wrong turns we are telling God that we don’t want his help or guidance and are choosing to walk in our own way. If you do believe that God’s way is the best way and are fully committed to following the path of Jesus, then here are 5 things that you can look out for in your journey, that serve as indicators that God is telling you, you have taken the wrong turn.

1. God is warning you that you may be on the wrong path if everyone close to you is contradicting your decision.
God may be asking you to reconsider the choices in your life, if the most trusted people around you are telling you that the choices you are taking are wrong. Of course people can be wrong and can have hidden motives, but a general rule of thumb for you to live by is that if everyone around you is complaining about the same thing you should definitely consider that what they are saying may be right. This is especially true if these people have your best interest at heart, know you well enough and may also have more life experience than you.

The bible teaches us in 1 Corinthians 13:1 that “every matter must be established by the testimony of two or more witnesses”. In this scripture, Paul was writing to the Corinthian church and reminding them what was written in the law of Moses. He was quoting Deuteronomy, where it says that in order for a statement to be taken as truth in a serious matter it must be corroborated by at least two other witnesses. So, in other words the bible is telling us to be careful about the conclusions and judgments we make about any statements of fact.

An example of this would be when Samson’s parents tried to discourage him from marrying the Philistine woman he met in Timnah. Samson had every reason to listen to his parents, but he refused and eventually got his heart broken. His reason for pursuing this ungodly relationship was that “She looked good to him” (Judges 14:3, NLT)

2. God will show you that you are on the wrong path by allowing a significant disappointment to take place.
When God can’t get us to go about things in the right way he will often let us walk in the path we chose, but allow it to end in disappointment, in order to give us the opportunity to get back on the right path. This is exactly what happened to Samson.

The Bible tells us that,

“His father and mother didn’t realize the Lord was at work in this, creating an opportunity to work against the Philistines, who ruled over Israel at that time.”

God was still, able to makes things work out in accordance with his divine plan for the people of Israel, even though Samson had his own personal agenda. Eventually, this ended in disappointment, as Samson’s wife, betrayed his trust and was given away in marriage to Samson’s best man. Rather than trusting the good interest of his parents, who had spiritual insight into the direction of his life and destiny, he trusted his feelings and his friends and ended up in disappointment. The important thing to note here is that God was in the background orchestrating and creating an opportunity that was not just for his glory, but also ended up realigning Samson with God.

3. God maybe telling you that you are on the wrong path, if people are taking advantage of your weakness.
The Philistines frequently tried to turn on Samson by finding out what his weaknesses were and exploiting them. Samson clearly had a weaknesses for pretty Philistine women and because of this the Philistines always used beautiful women to entrap him. The enemy will always try to take advantage of our weaknesses by tempting us in that area. God on the other hand will not tempt us, but will create a way of escape for us in the midst of our temptations. For Samson it was always having the spirit of God come upon him to help him breaking out of the ropes that were used to bind him.

But the men of Judah told him, “We have come to tie you up and hand you over to the Philistines.”
“All right,” Samson said. “But promise that you won’t kill me yourselves.”
“We will only tie you up and hand you over to the Philistines,” they replied. “We won’t kill you.” So they tied him up with two new ropes and brought him up from the rock.
As Samson arrived at Lehi, the Philistines came shouting in triumph. But the Spirit of the Lord came powerfully upon Samson, and he snapped the ropes on his arms as if they were burnt strands of flax, and they fell from his wrists. 
Then he found the jawbone of a recently killed donkey. He picked it up and killed 1,000 Philistines with it. 

Samson was now very thirsty, and he cried out to the Lord, “You have accomplished this great victory by the strength of your servant. Must I now die of thirst and fall into the hands of these pagans?” 
So God caused water to gush out of a hollow in the ground at Lehi, and Samson was revived as he drank. Then he named that place “The Spring of the One Who Cried Out,” and it is still in Lehi to this day. (Judges 15: 12-15, 18-19)

The passage above shows that God will keep providing a way out for us even in the most difficult situations in order for us to fulfil our purpose and enjoy his goodness.

4. God will warn us of wrong choices, by allowing us to lose some battles, in order for us to win the war.
Samson eventually ended up getting captured, because God left him. God had given Samson many prior warning signs and chances to repent and commit to the lifestyle that would enable him to maintain the presence of God in his life. When we continue on a wrong path and ignore the promptings of God to get us back to the right track, God will temporarily leave us and wait for us to come back to him in the place where he wants us to be. God will never force us to go down a certain path, he will only prompt us and orchestrate opportunities that will lead us unto the right path and then wait for us to make our choices. Samson lost, the connection to the source of his strength and also lost his sense of vision (signified by the gouging of his eyes). God knew that the people of Israel would not be able to ultimately win against there enemies if Samson continued to follow his own will and desires. So, God permitted Samson to be captured by the Philistines, until his hair started to grow back. Although he lost many things that were irreplaceable and did not fully regain his strength, with the little strength he did have he was able to fulfil his purpose.

God wants us to do more than win battles and overthrow our enemies. Yes, he wants us to achieve great things, but he wants us to also have a good life, too. By all accounts I don’t believe that Samson lived a very good life. He experienced a lot of heart ache, betrayal and ended up having his eyes brutally plucked out. I don’t think that this was what God had in mind for him when the prophecy about his destiny was given. There was definitely the better path that he could have taken, which may have seemed difficult, restrictive and perhaps counter culture, but in the end would have been a lot easier and enjoyable compared to what he went through.

Scripture for you meditation:

Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers. (3 John 2: 2, NKJV)

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5 Ways to Keep a Healthy Mind

One of the major challenges every Christian will face pretty early on in their Christian walk is attacks on the mind. Whether it is struggling with temptations or struggling with guilt of past sins, we are going to find that an important key to living a successful Christian life is in the way we mentally position ourselves for victory against these attacks. The rise in mental health related illnesses and death is evidence that a mental illness is a big part of the enemies strategy to keep people out of the fulness of God’s promise for us (John 10:10). Research estimates that 1 in 6 people experienced a common mental health problem in the past week. This means that most of us will ever so often face some form of attack on our mental health. Often when we think of a mental health challenge we think of white coats, straight jackets and anti-psychotic pills. Of course this can be the case, but mental health is far more than that. Just like being physical ill can be having either a mild cold or a severe heart disease, facing a mental health challenge can manifest on a broad spectrum of severity. Whatever the diagnosis, there are some basic things that you can do to take care of your mental health.

This post is a guide based on biblical principles, which work and have scientific congruence. As always I encourage you to seek medical advise, especially for more serious cases and to follow the advise already given to you by your doctor.

1. Catch the Sunlight
Exposure to sunlight naturally triggers the release of the serotonin hormone, which is responsible for lifting your mood and helping you feel calm and focused. Melatonin, is the sleep hormone which is triggered by darker lighting. Of course we need both of these hormones to live a healthy life, but because we have less sunlight in winter months, especially because we tend to spend more time indoors, where we are shielded from sunlight, we are more likely to experience a deep in serotonin level. A great way to combat this is to spend more time outdoors. As I mostly work from home I find that I don’t get out as much and by the time I do get out, the sun has already set. So, I have started opening up my curtains to get more sunlight into the house and I work under a bright white light.

2. Eating and Drinking for your health
At times when I get really dehydrated I get a headaches, which makes it really difficult to concentrate and if you add hunger to the mix, every activity because a little more difficult. It’s okay to abstain for a short period of time without food, but quite frankly it will lower your energy and dampen your mood. Words like “hangry” or “comfort food” are great examples of how food and water can affect once emotional health. Up to a couple years ago I used to do a long partial fast or a shorter absolute fast leading up to my birthday. I loved spending that time in prayer and meditation to seek God’s instructions and outpouring for the new year ahead. As much as I encourage anyone to implement this, my word of caution would be to apply wisdom to this spiritual activity. Don’t over do it. You are not trying to impress God with your ability to not eat, you are simply submitting yourself to a time of deeper concentration and devotion to God by separating yourself from things that can cause distraction or may be occupying a significant amount of your time. The purpose of fasting is not to damage your health, but to bring increase to you physically, spiritually, emotionally and mentally (Isaiah 58:8). There are different types of fasts that you can adhere to, that may be better suited to your health. I still fast, but I fast in a better.

Also pay attention to what you eat so you get the optimal amount of health benefits each time you eat. Whilst eating an extra-cheesy-sloppy-burger with a side of fries might be very comforting and filling it certainly isn’t the best contributor to your physical and mental health and may actually be contributing to your low energy and lack of concentration. Just like Daniel and his friends, you may need to learn how to say no to certain types of foods and yes to others. I assure you, you will reap the benefits.
Apart from eating your fruit and veg, I recommend adding supplements to your daily intake in the winter time. From late March to late September it is likely that you are ingesting and naturally producing enough Vitamin D, so you may not need to take supplements during those months. However, in the colder months it is possible to develop vitamin-D deficiency as we often don’t get enough from what we eat. Taking daily supplements can help keep our v-D levels up and lower our risk of health issues that can lead to seasonal mental illnesses and depression. Again check with your doctor to makes sure that your vitamin and mineral levels are as they should be.

3. Physical Exercise to work your body
Staying physically active is a great way of allowing blood and oxygen to pump through your body and brain. The adrenaline rush coupled with the dopamine rush that comes from achieving a health goal or from participating in a competitive sport is a good natural way of keeping your mood and spirits up. But not only does the dopamine and adrenaline that comes from exercising improve your mental health but, regular exercise will help you sleep better, which is beneficial to your mental health. A major blessing of the modern age is the ability to have access to a lot of lives necessities with very little work or effort. Unfortunately, it means that we don’t get enough of exercise in natural ways. In the pre- technology and industrial world, people used to walk everywhere, most people would grow their own food themselves and herd their own cattle. The physical excretion of a labour worker meant that they would sleep deep. Additionally, they completely relied on the sun as a source of light, which meant that they would go to bed early and wake up early to start work. The post technology world means that we not only sleep less, but we also don’t sleep well. Ecclesiastes 5:12 says this;

The sleep of a labouring man is sweet,
Whether he eats little or much;
But the abundance of the rich will not permit him to sleep.

This scripture is obviously comparing the life off a rich man with the life of a poor man, but the principle can be applied to this scenario of exercise. The context of this scripture is set in an agricultural scene. Even back in the days of the scripture wealthier people did not labour in the fields instead they hired people to do the more strenuous work. Wealthier people, were transported in chariots and carried around in seats between two long poles. I am very sure that the men who walked around carrying these poles on their shoulders where very tired at the end of the day. That same practice continuous today, the only difference is that you don’t need to be so rich to afford comfort anymore.

4. Make sure you Sleep well
The scripture above shows that wealth does not mean happiness and rest, in fact it suggests that people who are richer may suffer from sleeplessness, because they constantly worry about what they have. Rich people not only have a lot of valuable possessions, but they also tend to have a lot of mouths to feed. Being rich is not just about having a lot of money in the bank. It’s also about having access to basic necessities of life that some people might not have. If your primary concern is finding the perfect hair dryer, what happens next on your favourite soap opera or your next crypto currency investment, then I’d like to suggest to you that you are not poor. It may just feel that way, because you are spending a lot of money on the latest wants. My question to you is what is keeping you up at night? Are you constantly worrying about what’s next? What’s next on your agenda, what’s next on that tv show, what’s next on your wish list, what’s next on your to do list? We are living a life were we have so much to lose, but all these things that we have to lose don’t seem to have so much value. Could this false pursuit of happiness be robbing you of rest?

5. Pray about everything
A famous scripture in the Bible tells us to not be anxious about anything, but to pray about everything. Whilst, that may sound easier said than done, I find that it is a lot harder to live in perpetual worry and anxiety. God, the one who is all knowing, all seeing and all powerful, invites us to a therapeutic and soul detoxing session, where we can talk to him about every single concern. Whatever it may be that keeps you down, that worries you and that extinguishes that inner light we all have inside, God says tell me about it. Isn’t it wonderful that we have a someone like this we can talk about things with?

Here is a few lines from one of my favourite hymns for your meditation:

‘Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at His Word
Just to rest upon His promise,
Just to know, “Thus saith the Lord!

“Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
Oh, for grace to trust Him more!

S.A.D and the Winter Blues

During the Winter months it’s common to feel a little down, which is why I typically emphasise the importance of gratitude and take intentional steps to be thankful at this time of the year. I noticed a few years back that I tended to feel symptoms associated with anxiety at the start of Autumn. My first memory of this was about 6 years ago when I felt a sudden wave of panic at the thought of summer coming to an end. At the time I thought it was to do with a new academic year beginning and needing to work harder to get my certifications. I told myself that it would all be okay and the slight panic that I could feel rising subsided, but the dread remained. The cold season has never been my preference. Unlike Elsa, the cold has always bothered me. I chucked it up to personal preference and a twist of fate that I was born in Autumn instead of Spring or Summer.

It wasn’t until 2018 that I realised that there might be more to this than just the downsides to an introverted personality. I was crying every day for about a week and didn’t know why. I felt a deep sense of despair and hopelessness and I didn’t understand why. At the time, I was between jobs, moved homes and had just enrolled on a Masters program. Yes, all this was tough and tasking, but I had been through worse and didn’t have to deal with feeling unmotivated as a result. In the grand scheme of things everything was fine and I had everything that I needed. But I was still really sad. Rather than give in to the feelings, I resisted it, didn’t tell anyone what was going on, hid my tears behind forced smiles, and tried to get through it with positive confessions. “We walk by faith and not by sight”, “Faith over feelings”, “God is more real than what I am feeling”. It wasn’t working. I felt more emotionally worn out, with each confession. My constant smiling made me feel like a fraud. I was faking it, but never making it. I eventually broke out of it, and I will come back to what exactly helped me, but I want to highlight the importance of knowing what it is that you are facing.

I firmly believe that you cannot fight something that you refuse to face. Whatever it is that is troubling you be it a health issue, a bad habit, an addiction or even debt, if you don’t face it you’re never going to overcome it. This doesn’t mean we lose faith, or that we stop praying. It means that we channel our faith in a specific direction and pray specific prayers. For me facing it was knowing that this was seasonal affective disorder. Knowing this meant that I could channel my energy into taking care of myself in a suitable way, I can refrain from things that could be a trigger and open me up to relapse and I could better position myself in prayer. I know that SAD is not my portion or my inheritance in Christ, so I positioned myself accordingly. Because I knew what I was up against I could fight back in faith with the invisible weapons at my disposal. That is what the fight of Faith is; Fighting a battle that is not visible to the physical eyes, but will yield (positive or negative) results. I have learnt that invisible battles can leave very visible scars. I have had to learn to fight better and smarter.

Counter attack is my favourite way of dealing with issues like these. Winter blues and sadness in general, causes us to want to withdraw and isolate. A little down time and alone time is good and healthy, but it can lead to other things like self-piety, self-loathing, low self-esteem, increased sense of hopelessness and worthlessness, these are all friends of the enemy, which can be used to keep you away from joy, gratitude, healthy relationships and communion with people around you. Instead of giving in to the narrative of loneliness, spend time with people. Don’t go over board and plan an elaborate party, which may make it worse. Just find 1 – 3 people who you can sit with, talk to or engage in a mild activity with. Being with and talking to people is a great way to regain perspective.

One of the things that I find often happens when we feel down is that we lose clarity. We don’t have a clear picture of what we want or where we are going. This is because we are so overwhelmed by the predominant feeling of sadness, which distracts us from our objectives. A great way of counteracting this is by writing. Journaling has a way of organising our thoughts. When we write we not only think about what we want to say, but we also think about how we feel as we say it and how we want to say it. This is a good way of practicing to process our emotions. We all have emotions, but in order to learn how to control our emotions we need to process them first. I would suggest writing no more than 20 minutes daily, and encourage that you end each journal entry with a positive statement. This could be something you are grateful for, something you look forward to, or a good memory from the past.

The symptoms of depression, seasonal affective disorder and some other mental health illnesses, include physical and emotional tiredness, lack of motivation and reduced interest. Because of this people often develop feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness. A great way to combat these thoughts and feelings is to revisit previous achievements. The other morning I went back and read the devotional I completed and published last year. I was blessed by what I had written, I took my own advise and applied some of the scriptures that I had written down. The things you create through God’s creative power become a memorial for you. You realise that although you don’t feel it right now, there is a powerful deposit inside of you that can only come from God. Your life is a testimony! Go back and visit your moments of triumph, your personal victories, your achievements and your testimonies. You are definitely worth more than you have achieved, but you also need to remember that you are more than what you feel. If you journal and take notes of good days and also take pictures, I would recommend that you re-read older entries and look at those pictures again. Use them to remind yourself that better days are coming.

Whether it is SAD, depression, anxiety, end of year stress or anything else, you can overcome if you will chose to believe that you can. Get help facing it from loved ones and health professionals. Help is always available if you reach out for it.

Happy New Me!

I haven’t posted this year, and for most of last year. It’s kind of felt strange not posting. I beat myself up a bit for not taking this more seriously and for not putting in the work. When this year rolled in I felt that I needed to say something about a new year, new chapters, goals, preparation and planning with God, but January came and went then a full quarter of the year past by and now a half year and I still didn’t feel like giving the happy new year message. I just didn’t feel like any of it would be totally honest or different from previous years. And the thing is we all want the new year to be different from the previous one, especially after a year like 2020. We all desperately wanted this year to yield some much more pleasant and promising prospects and memories than we had in the previous year.
For me, I didn’t just want the date to be different I wanted things to be different. A popular quote that most of us would have heard or come across at some point is, “be the change you want to see”. What a powerful concept and something we can all attest to be true. Yet after a year we’ve just had, which seems to have spilled over into the current year, more than ever I sense the difficulty to break out and be the change. Not only is it difficult to seek change in a world that has faced a series of challenges that are beyond human control, but also to find change when all we want and all we talk about is for things to go back to normal. It’s exceptionally difficult to commit to change when we’ve all had a year where we were confronted with our demons. For the first time, many people actually sat at home and had time to really think about their careers, really think about their financial circumstances, really think about their relationships, their habits, physical and mental health and spiritual life amongst so many other things. In the course of examination and thinking, if we were honest, we would have found things that we liked and things we didn’t like. We would have patterns and habits that have always been there but sprung up to the surface after a few weeks to months of sitting at home and having nothing else to do.

Just the other day, I was watching a report on the BBC featuring normal people, working professionals, people who didn’t lose their jobs or were significantly affected by the pandemic through the death of a loved one or by contracting the virus themselves, who admitted to drinking more frequently and in larger quantities during the day. One middle aged man said that he didn’t notice how much alcohol he was consuming on a daily basis until his children pointed it out to him. He had gotten to the point where he couldn’t go through a day without drinking. It had become normal for him. He drank 2 beers and a bottle of wine every day, which worked out to be about 100 units of alcohol a week. The average maximum recommended weekly alcohol consumption is 14 Units.
His encouragement was that anyone who was drinking more, should get help, whether they were still functioning like he was or not.

I mention this not to cast judgment or to make anyone feel bad for slipping up, but to say it’s okay to look at our not so great side. Whatever your habits and practices are and have been over the pandemic months, that is your normal. You need to embrace all of it. The good, the bad and the ugly. You can’t change what you don’t accept. You can’t change a world that you are not willing to acknowledge and be part of. You must show up and participate in your change for you to be the change that you desire to see.

Some of us looked at our health and realised that we really needed to get off the couch if we were going to have lives beyond just surviving the pandemic. We realised that pandemic or not, we were lucky to even experience another day from the comforts of our living room, because truthfully, with the way we’ve been treating our bodies we haven’t earned the right. So, we decided to get on that bike, take that walk, do those crunches and run that mile. Others realised that the issues that cropped up in their marriage was as a result of not spending time together, not seeing each other for who they really were, and they are now working on being better. Others found that the damage in their relationship was to extensive to repair and they’ve began to make changes.
We have all been through something corporately and individually. We have all felt pain and sorrow, loss and addition.

I’ve been through my own discovery journey and yes, the person that I am today is not the person I hoped I would now be. But I know that the person writing these words is not the person I will still be in another 10 years. There are things that I want to change and there are things that I want to maintain. But I’m embracing me and noticing that I’ve changed, I’ve become someone else and I’ve decided that going back to become the person I was is not an option. Nothing good comes from dwelling on the past. Even if that past is full of rosy memories. It’s gone and done. I can only learn from yesterday and make tomorrow a better day. The future is a moving mark full of possibilities and new things to discover and conquer. I have an idea of where I’m going and a map in my hand to guide me, but when I get there I know that really being there will be different and feel different to what I imagined, because the map is only a picture of the real thing. But more so, I would have changed. The journey to the future would have changed me again, just the way the journey of the past changed me into who I am now. Once, twice, three times or more every year, I will tell myself, ‘Happy New Me!’, because even when times don’t seem to have changed much, I will.