Love is in the air! It’s thick and almost tangible. All the love songs on the radio tell us to get it on tonight. The retailers encourage us to seize the day and incentivise us with great sales. With the whole world telling us to translate every feeling we feel into action and gratify our pleasure glands with every desire, where do we draw the boundary lines?
There is that dreaded question that is always asked at every singles seminar or conference, especially when the topic of sex and abstinence comes up. I’m always praying nobody asks, because it gets awkward very quickly amidst all the pre-adolescent euphemisms and the desire of the singles who want explicit and clear boundaries laid when they ask, “how far is too far?”. There is always one person who asks this question. Actually, I wish I could say that this is the single most awkward inquiry made at this sort of events (sadly, it isn’t).
This is the question a single person asks only because they think that they might have taken it too far with someone either physically or emotionally and want to clear their conscience of the guilt that is weighing on them. Of course, I think that it”s important to know where the boundaries are; every Christian single should know the boundaries. We should all live with the consciousness of always wanting to honour God.
Yet, the question, I think, is far more suggestive than that. It implies a desire to know how much you can get away with without falling into sin. You are living on the edge and will only end up falling of the cliff. God will surely catch us when we fall, but He would rather not have us tempt Him in this way (Luke 4:12).
The problem with this line of inquiry is that rather than submitting our desires under the authority of God and managing these desires and appetites, we want the word of God – our standard for living and the authority – to conform to our earthly/ physical desires. If we can find a scripture that supports how far we want to go then we’ll hold unto that scripture and use it to support our actions. In doing so we run the risk of taking the scriptures out of its intended context. What’s even worse is that we often take the absence of an issue in the bible to mean that it’s okay to do something, when it really isn’t the case.
A good example of this is the issue of kissing; is an unmarried couple allowed to kiss? Is kissing permissible in a dating relationship? There are those who say ‘yes’ and there are those who emphatically say ‘no’. This is one of those issues where the bible is silent on, but I have heard people misuse Paul’s words by saying, that we should greet each other with a holy kiss, so it is okay for two dating people to kiss [Romans 16:16; 1 Corinthians 16:20; 2 Corinthians 13:12; 1 Thessalonians 5:26]. This is obviously a misuse of that verse, as the context had nothing to do with dating or romantic or erotic love. In fact, Paul was encouraging them to uphold their purity, dignity and honour of each other as they love each other in a non-romantic way.
When it comes to honouring God and seeking first His will for our lives, the question should never be how far is too far. Instead, it should be how much more can I honour God with my actions and behaviour? How much more can I give up? How much more can I honour and respect this person I am in a relationship with? In what more ways can we promote holiness and preserve the sanctity of our physical bodies (the temple of God)?
This is what God’s word says to this:
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.
2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. (Romans 12:1-2)
God wants us to live sacrificially, which means that we will make daily sacrifices concerning our wants and desires, always presenting ourselves as honourable vessels before him. But in verse two, God let’s us know that there is no way we can be holy and acceptable before Him with our bodies, if we do not renew our minds. Our thinking will inform what we do and there is no way on earth, as long as we are alive, that we will ever do anything without our bodies being involved. If I am already thinking how far is too far, it means that I am playing with the ideas of wanting more rather than allowing my mind to be introduced to the ideas of true sacrifice.
When our minds are renewed by the word of God, that is Christ, our old mind is being exchanged for the mind of Christ (Philippians 2:5). The mind of Christ thinks sacrificially how it can give more, rather than thinking how much it can get or what it can get away with. Sacrificial living and thinking means having a mindset that is willing to give up anything at the instance of it being required.
We can celebrate LOVE today because God gave us everything. He went far beyond the limits of what the princes of this world thought he could, just to prove His undying love for us. If there is anything we can learn from the life of Christ then it is this; nothing proves the presence of love more than sacrifice.
We Grow in Faith 